He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
