you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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