the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
