Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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