Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
