and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
