If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
