I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
