All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
