Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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