I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize