His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
a search helicopter?!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize