Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
