Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
