Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
