hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
People in love make me want to vomit
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you will always have a special place in my vag
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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