So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
