it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
