I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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