YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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