Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
