just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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