taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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