May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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