Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
