He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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