I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
