When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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