What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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