he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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