I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
