On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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