I faked an abortion last night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
