I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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