Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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