Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize