I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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