I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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