I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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