The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
