My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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