Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
