Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
