Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
