Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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