How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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