you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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