I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
