Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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