I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
