My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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