Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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