No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
