i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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