that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
