The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
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