I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
