I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wish there were birth control emojis
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
