I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize